i lost my underwear.

Posted by: Elyse

I love how I judge people and especially how I judge super slutty people until I realize that a lot of the stuff I do may possibly fall into the slutty people category.  I'm absorbing my hangover the other day, laying in my bed with piles of pizza on top of me, and I got sucked into several hours of  "Buckwild" on demand, MTV's newest foray into the stupidity of whorish/negative braincell inbreds from west virginia.  It's like jersey shore, only with potato guns and lifted trucks.   These skanks wander about with body paint and sleep from dude to dude from their same clique of friends and slug back the bud lights midday while only being 20....

And I'm like, wow what a buncha whores (said in a Mass accent).  But like..... we've all been there. We've all done worse.  Except how come when I do it it's hilarious?  When I wake up at a dude's house having slept through my alarm and can't find my favorite slutty pair of underwear, it's funny.  When my friends are awake in the living room of a hotel room and are kept up by my sex noises, it's funny.  If my life was on display for America to see, would it be so funny?  Would America laugh as my friends laugh and say "Ohhhhhh, Elyse, you're silly in a whorish way but we think these stories are funny and it just adds to your winning personality."  Or would America be like "Wow. Look at that skank.  And she's 28, a little too old to know better.  Shouldn't she be shopping for sparkly diamonds and having babies and not waiting tables for a living?"

In conclusion, this post has no point except to let y'all know that no, I have not grown up and yes, I still watch MTV, and no, you cannot judge me because my life is fun dammit. Carry on.