and this man is not my husband why?

Posted by: Elyse



Here's to get all you rowdy Pats fans out there excited about tomorrow.  No one does it classier than Mr. Wesley and my Pats.  Filthy 90 chinned Rex Ryan can flap his turkey gobbler all he wants, but no matter how much hot fire he THINKS he's spitting out of his mouth, there is no doubt in the world that the Pats do it better.  We don't need to talk shit and run our mouths.  We just give super sneaky press conferences where my gorgeous hunk of nugget meat makes 10 sly jabs at Rex's filthy foot fetish.

Let's analyze.  Well of COURSE Rex Ryan wants his wife's feet in his mouth.  He probably missed his midnight dinner that night and was still hungry after 12pm dinner, 3pm dinner, 6pm dinner and 9pm dinner.  He was like OMG, wife, your toes they look like little cocktail weiners and I need them in my stom-adhfaiuegnajeghauigheage (noises of his filthy consumption).  This man disgusts me with his poor sportsmanship, his bad examples, and to be perfectly honest I'm surprised he wants to talk as much shit as he does.  I mean.... how outlandish does it seem that something would actually be coming OUT of his mouth, so much in the opposite direction of the 400 lbs of ground bacon that he consumes daily.

So don't worry pats, I just did your shit talking for you. And extra mega props to Wes for real for keeping a straight face during that press conference. GO PATS!