So I'm at work last night, slinging cheesecakes. It had started to die down, there's only like 5 or so of us still serving. I see one of my tables getting sat, a gentleman and what I assume to be his lady friend. I head on over, beaming fake smile in place "Hi, my name's Elyse, I hope you're here for the calories, yadda yadda" and then the eye contact is made. Out of alllllll the 200,000+ people in Richmond, take a wild guess who gets sat in my section on a slow Thursday night.
My male gynecologist. One of the only people in Richmond who has been face to face with my vagina. In fact, ALL UP IN MY BUSINESS. I can't make this shit up. I had no idea what to do besides act natural. I mean, I had only seen him once, I dyed my hair since then, and I was full clothed. Unless I sat down on the edge of the table next to him and "scooted to the edge" spread eagle, I felt like I was safe from being recognized.
But my biggest mistake was going and sharing this hilarity with many of my coworkers. <INSERT ENDLESS VAGINA JOKES HERE> "Hey what's he gunna order, the fish tacos?" "Have you come to personally deliver my test results?" "I hope he washed his hands before he came here!"
Needless to say, I probably didn't do the proper amount of table check backs or eye contact. But damn, that $50 tip on a $35 check was worth flashing some vajayjay ;)
I'm kidding.
No comments:
Post a Comment