a throwback story about your two fave bloggers

Posted by: Elyse

HE. IS. LEGEND.


So, back when these guys were still awesome (spring 09), miss Christie and I decided to take a little roadski trippy to Worcester, MA (MY HOMETOWN MOFUGGGA) to see them.  At this time I was still in upstate NY and xtiebitch was in western MA, so I drove my ass out to her house so that we could combine forces and wreak havoc.

So the whole way down we're slamming champagne outta styrofoam cups, and once we get there we are blasting shots of vodka straight out the cheap bottle. Needless to say we are effffffed up. And about to rock our faces off.  Once we're in there rocking out, my buddy Slippery Pete (no I'm not trying to be funny, thats his name I swear) is bartending and almost gets mandated by security to cut me off bc I'm wrecked but he doesn't.

So HIL comes out and we're fucking rocking the hell out, minding our bizniz when these two little 13 yr old skanks in front of us turn around and like SCREAM at the top of our lungs that we need to shut up and we sound like chipmunks. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm are you kidding me bitch???? First of all, we're standing in front of a monster amp and speaker so tell me that you can hear anything besides Schuylar Croom screaming his ball satchel off. Secondly, I could have birthed you and taught you how to rock out with our ripe age difference, but your lame Kenny G listening mama did it instead, so shut up and show some respect to your elders.

So me and xtie are like whatevs let's go relieve our bladders because they are full of ALCOHOL and you little bitches can't drink.  We're in the bathroom and since I'm seeing about 19 of myself in the mirror, I decide it's a great idea to give a sentimental lecture to this other small herd of tweenagers.  I'm all slurring my speech, dumping my budweiser on their hot pink converses and I'm like "Listenakdg.... you girlskangdaieh, you dont' even know how proud you making mekhagiehaek.... that you're like KEEPING THE SCENE ALIVE MANNNNihagoehgakeghidugh.  I fucking love you girls?!!!" And I'm pretty sure we group hugged and then being the cool twenty something yr old that I was, I was like "here, you guysssss... you just take this beer and you all split it and you girls have an aweeeesooomealkhgeoiahge time tonighhhht!"

They looked at me like I was Justin freakin Bieber.  Straight up worship.  I left that bathroom feeling like a goddess. and after that I remember nothing. apparently I vomited in a different bar's bathroom while Christie gave inspirational speeches to the homeless people of Worcester.
Thanks, He Is Legend!