Now, go win yourself some useless stuff!

Posted by: Christie

With the Big E in town, besides there being a lot of unnecessarily fried and calorie-loaded food that you would probably never eat in a regular setting, there's also a lot of useless prizes that you can try to win while showing off your skills that are never really applicable to anything you'd ever have to do in a real life situation.

Personally, before I go into any situation I like to somewhat prepare myself by learning all the ins and outs and outcomes that could happen, while at the same time giving myself a slight edge over whatever I'm about to do.  Generally, I like to use Google in helping me complete this task.

So, instead of letting my $30 a month cell phone internet access go to waste, I googled how to beat each of the games at the Big E that I decided to throw my money at on Saturday. Unfortunately, for me, my analytical mind worked against me this time and I won nothing.  But, below I will attach the tips so that you readers can maybe win yourselves a useless stuffed trophy that will sit and take up room in your house for the next year until you can let go of your pride and get rid of it.

How To Beat Carnival Games

Tips to win a knock-off stuffed animal or dusty 2LiveCrew vanity mirror next time you're counting mullets at the fair. 

Ring Toss Game:

Snap your wrist as you throw the ring to achieve the most spin possible, this will stabilize the ring making it easier to land cleanly on your target.

 

Balloon Dart Throw:

The balloons are under-inflated, and the dart tips are dull. Forget accuracy and throw the dart as hard as you can. Most people aim for the middle, so the game operators will often hide the "good prize" tags behind balloons on the outside edges.

 

Shoot out the Star:

Very hard to beat, even for a good marksman. The trick is to shoot around the star, rather than trying to shoot out the star itself.
In this skill game you need to completely remove the red star using a BB gun.
Complete the circle and the center of the paper will fall away taking the red star with it.
Also note that the barrels are often bent, and their marks not accurate. Within the first few shots it's important to gauge just how far off the mark the gun shoots and adjust your aim accordingly.

 

Basket Toss:

Lean over to get as close to the basket as you are allowed. Toss the ball gently using some backspin. Aim for the inside upper lip of the basket.

 

Guess your weight, age or birth month:

Unless you very over-weight or really don't look your age, it's best to go with the birth month. Some carnies still use an old scam for guessing your birth month.
If the carny uses this trick (not all do) they will scribble down something like the image on the right. Does it say Jun, Jul, or Jan? The guesser could claim it be whichever one is closest to your birth month. That wide spread allows the carny to be within 2 months of any month, except one: October.
So if you think you are dealing with a shady operator, always say "October" is your birth month.

 

Coin Toss Game:

The object is to toss a coin onto a plate without the coin bouncing off. There are a few tricks to increasing the odds of winning this game:
1. Use a very high arc, with as little spin as possible when tossing the coin. You can even try tossing the coin right up into the hanging stuffed animals above.
2. Covertly cover the coin with spit before tossing it.
3. Some people recommend purposely bouncing the coin off one plate in order to make a second bounce land on a plate safely.

 

Stand the bottle:

You are given a fishing pole with a small ring attached to the end of the line. Your goal is make a soda bottle (laying on its side) stand using this contraption.
The trick is to PUSH the bottle up rather than pull it up.

 

Milk Bottle Throw:

 
The bottles used in this carnival game are often made with leaded glasses making them very heavy.
The secret to winning the milk bottle throw is to aim at the base of the bottom two containers rather then at the intersection of all three bottles.

 

Test Your Strength:

The goal is to whack the base of this game with a mallet causing a weight shoot up and ring a bell. The trick is all in accuracy and technique rather than strength. A few tips:
1. Accuracy is the key, be sure to hit the center of base.
2. Hold the mallet as far down the handle as possible while still achieving a firm grip.
3. Hold the mallet over your head, arms completely extended, arch your body backwards. Give a few slow motion test swings to judge how far you should stand away from the target to hit it dead-center. Using this method you will achieve the most momentum and still accurately hit the target.

 

Basketball Free-Throw:

You have a lot going against you in this game. The ball is over-inflated, the hoop is smaller than regulation size and often an oval shape rather than circular. The backboard is plywood making it extra bouncy. So forget about throwing a normal free-throw shot.
The key is to use a high arc. Do not try to rebound the shot off the backboard -- the ball will always bounce too much. To win this game you must make a perfect swish, no backboard.

sauce

Now, instead of shelling out that $40 bucks plus trying to win that furry friend while trying to beat a seemingly impossible game, you'll only have to spend $35! You're welcome.

Good luck out there bitches!