Posted by: Elyse
Why do I feel the need to tell you guys the most embarrassing stuff about myself? I hope you assholes appreciate this. So the other night, I'm sitting in my room, probably skyping with my one skype friend (the co-author of this blog), giggling out loud and my mom rolls up to my room. We chat some idle chatting, I tell her I'm blogging but she can never read it because it would make her disappointed, you know, the usual.
Then she walks away and I think I'm off the hook, but she comes back and she's like "Oh and hey, Elyse..." I'm like ohhhh crap did I throw a cigarette butt on the lawn instead of in my designated empty vegetable cans???? Honestly, I would have preferred that lecture 10 to one. She's like......
"Have you thought about maybe joining one of those internet dating sites? Because I've heard....."
MOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOMMMMMM! OMFGGGGGGGG. Like come, on, I'm pretty hot and when I get drunk and social I have a stellar personality. Just because I tend to date cheating a-holes and ultra badasses who end up screwing me over doesn't mean I'm incapable of finding a real life, non internet man. Not knocking anyone who's tried the ole daternet, but there's NO way in hell that I could ever bring a guy home to meet my friends or family and have them be like awwww so how'd you meet?
ummm....... on the internet. Fail. Thanks mom.
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